Art Imitates Life Imitates Art

Toxic Schizophrenia by Tim Noble and Sue Webster,
Museum of Contemporary Art Denver.


While I like my man to know his Keats from Browning from Frost from Dickinson, I also agree with Alice Walker and this beautiful poem:

Never Offer Your Heart to Someone Who Eats Hearts
by Alice Walker

Never offer your heart
to someone who eats heart
who finds heartmeat
delicious
but not rare
who sucks the juices
drop by drop
and bloody-chinned
grins
like a God.

Never offer your heart
to a heart gravy lover
Your stewed, overseasoned
heart consumed
he will sop up your grief
with bread
and send it shuttling
from side to side
in his mouth
like bubblegum.

If you find yourself
in love with a person
who eats hearts
these things
you must do:

Freeze your heart
immediately.
Let him - next time
he examines your chest -
find your heart cold
flinty and unappetizing.

Refrain from kissing
lest he in revenge
dampen the spark
in your soul.

Now,
sail away to Africa
where holy women
await you
on the shore -
long having practiced the art
of replacing hearts
with God
and Song.


Like I am fond of saying to my close friends: "all men are capable of being jerks or sometimes assholes," but the one who can appreciate poetry (definitely not the cherry-decaffed-frappuccino-sipping-in-Starbucks kind of guy) is for keep!

Haz's Personal Guide to "Doing" San Francisco

1. Place to stay: Hosteling International, Downtown
One block from Union Square, 5 minutes walk from Market Street, cable car stop, BART and MUNI stations, bus stops, HUGE Forever 21 store...

I stayed in a 4-bed dorm with 3 German girls and it costs me $25/night. Some of the perks are:
- FREE breakfast (bagels, toast, juice, coffee)
- FREE towel, linen, blanket
- FREE wi-fi
- Ensuite bathroom, but shared with the room next
- Ensuite locker
- FREE storage room after checkout if you still feel like exploring the city before jetting off
- VERY helpful and friendly staffs, just tell them what you feel like doing and they'll come up with TONS of suggestions!
- VERY international/fun/cultured

atmosphere
- SUPER clean
- For those of age of 21, FREE pub crawl every weeknight and the staff who takes you is super fun/outgoing (no I didn't go but he tried to persuade me to so that was how I got a glimpse of his personality. I mean, to be able to go out with strangers to bars and pubs and hang out when they have a little too much drinks...that calls for personality, right?)

2. For crepes go to Honey Honey on the corner of Post and Taylor, which is within walking distance from Market/Powell shopping district and a block from Geary theater district. It was recommended by the staff of HI downtown and I only got the chance to satiate my craving for crepes this morning: Chocolate Nutella crepe with whipped cream and a cup of steaming mocha. Yums.

3. For clam chowder in sourdough bread bowl and any other seafood go to Fisherman's Wharf. You can get some from the street vendors or you can do it the fancy way in Boudin Bakery Cafe or in many eateries in Pier 39. I need to come back for some breaded, fried calamari with cocktail sauce. Am drooling just thinking about it.

4. For pancakes go to Sears Fine Food on Powell. The line for a seat in the restaurant is huge every morning, even in the pouring rain! The food is a little bit pricey but when they have really awesome pancakes, I'm not really complaining.

5. For eating, walk around Union Square and its vicinities, explore the nooks and crannies of each street and you'll be surprised at what you'll find. I only found a 24-hour "kedai mamak" half a block from HI on my last night in the city so at almost 11 p.m. I went for a quick fix of roti naan. And the kedai is halal too. That was also how I found the little "kedai" that serves the best seafood pad see eew ("kuew teow goreng" with real fresh "sawi") on my second night here.

6. For the best cable car experience, stand on the allocated space for standees. I was so kecut perut when the car went downhill!

7. For strip clubs, take your pick along Market Street. No, I'm not kidding.

8. For indie, one of a kind stores (books, cafes, apparels, records) go to Valencia and Mission and Haight Ashbury <--- hardcore hippie with rastafarians, etc so be prepared. But the coffee is cheaper and the chocolate chip cookies are homemade and you can tell the difference!

9. For Zagat-rated Best Nightlife in SF go to Hobson's Pub in Haight Ashbury.

10. For local theater scene, go to Geary theater district.

11. For gay bars and clubs, go to Castro.

12. For cultural experience, go to Civic Center/U.N Plaza. There are tons of art galleries and museums, and also a symphony hall and a ballet conservatory.

13. For shopping, go to Union Square (Bloomingdale's, Barney's, Macy's, Saks Fifth Avenue, all the high end stores and boutiques), Market Street (take the opposite direction from the strip clubs district), Powell Street and Westfield SF Center.

14. For cheap souvenirs, go to the west side of Fisherman's Wharf. The prices escalate as you walk eastward towards Pier 39.

15. For chocolates, go to Ghirardelli Square and purchase some at Ghirardelli Original Chocolate Shop. Also try Ghirardelli's hot chocolate and chocolate croissant. Arghhh..I want them right now! (Hungry again after crepe).

16. For the best travel experience in SF, ASK your friends who have been here, or are living here so you don't appear that tourist-y. I know I'm grateful for awesome friends like Zach, Dana and Az.

Hujung Minggu Yang Panjang di San Francisco: Berkeley, Gitar, Az dan Andy McKee

Di UC Berkeley.

Az dan instrumen kesayangan.

Andy McKee di American Swedish Institute/Cafe du Nord.

Hujung Minggu Yang Panjang di San Francisco: Hari Kedua di Pinggiran Lautan Pasifik

Kereta kabel bersejarah yang merupakan trademark kota San Fran di Powell Street. Latar adalah gedung Forever 21 yang paling besar pernah saya temui.

Ghirardelli dari kejauhan.

Hyde St Pier, pameran maritim bersejarah.

Alcatraz.

Fisherman's Wharf di pinggir Lautan Pasifik.

Demonstrasi pembuatan sourdough bread di Boudin Bakery.

Pier 39.

New Rngland clam chowder in sourdough bread bowl.

Woops.

de Young Museum, Golden Gate Park.

Conservatory of Flowers, Golden Gate Park.

Japanese Tea Garden.

Hujung Minggu Yang Panjang di San Francisco: Argh, Sebuah Kota Yang Menggiurkan!

San Francisco menyambut dengan langit kusam dan awan kelabu yang memberat. Sebaik gerabak BART dari Lapangan Terbang Antarabangsa San Francisco tiba di Powell Street dan saya memulakan pencarian tempat penginapan yang arahnya 2 blok ke utara Powell, belok ke kiri O'Farrell, berjalan dua blok lagi dan belok pula ke kanan Mason, hujan menggeluyur. Mujur, meski sekadar gamble tanpa ketahuan utara selatan timur atau barat, saya tiba juga ke Hostelling International Downtown San Francisco yang hanya satu blok berjalan kaki dari Union Square. Lokasi strategik, terutama buat para shopaholic (ehem, Ain dan Khairina? Sini macam New York, ok?)

Saya punya sejarah love-hate relationship yang panjang dengan aktiviti beli-belah dan kini, emosi hate itu mendominasi. Soalan pertama saya kepada gadis petugas meja hadapan adalah lokasi kedai-kedai buku terpakai. Saya hanya membawa naskhah drama tragedi Yunani karangan Euripides, Medea yang diselesaikan di Lapangan Terbang Antarabangsa Denver lagi dan naskhah kulit keras Beat the Reaper karya doktor perubatan Josh Bazell yang gagal dimuatkan dalam sling bag kecil yang saya kelek ke sana ke mari sebagai bekal. Maka, saya memerlukan sebuah buku bersaiz piawai mass paperback dan The Princess Bride, sebuah novel sai-fai fantasi menjadi idaman saya.

Gadis petugas meja depan mencadangkan Mission Street dan dengan menaiki BART lagi, saya ke sana. Turun di 16th Mission, saya berjalan 8 blok sepanjang Valencia Street yang ketara pengaruh bohemi. Ia juga merupakan antara 'the sketchiest area' di San Francisco. Argh, faham-faham sahajalah. Kawasan bohemi sememangnya begitu, berdasarkan pengalaman saya di SoHo New York, Grassmarket Edinburgh, Deansgate Manchester, Camden London dan South Broadway Denver.

Namun, pencarian di beberapa buah kedai buku terpakai (salah sebuahnya bernama Dog-Eared Books, aduh, saya suka sekali dengan nama-nama yang kreatif sebegini!) gagal menemukan buku idaman. Saya kemudiannya menaiki BART lagi ke stesen Civic Center/U.N Plaza untuk mencari lokasi Orpheum Theater bagi melangsaikan keinginan menonton pementasan muzikal Wicked. Sayang, saya lupa alamat tepatnya maka hajat terpaksa ditangguh. Saya kembali ke Powell Street dengan berjalan kaki (ponteng larian rutin 5K, tetapi kalori masih perlu dibakar!), makan malam serta sekadar meladeni sekitar Market Street dan Union Square yang dibanjiri gedung-gedung mewah dan berjenama sebelum kembali ke tempat penginapan.

Kebetulan, tiga rakan sebilik saya juga baru pulang. Simone, Christine dan Kris berasal dari Jerman tetapi sudah empat bulan bekerja sebagai au pair di Maine. Mereka dalam misi menjelajah pantai barat Amerika, bermula dari SF ke Los Angeles sebelum terus ke Las Vegas.

Esok saya akan menaiki kereta kabel ke Fisherman's Wharf, inshaallah. Zach dan Dana telah menyediakan satu senarai panjang tentang perkara-perkara yang harus dilakukan di SF dan saya sangat-sangat menghargai!

A Rendezvous about Books (Not just hers!)

Dr Azar Nafisi. Oh how I wish she's my professor!

Yours truly with the woman who read Lolita in Tehran.

This is a woman who's passionate about books, and not just hers. Dr Azar Nafisi only read a short passage from her latest book Things I've Been Silent About: Memories and occupied the rest of the time allocated for her to share her latest cause in saving independent bookstores specifically and bookstores in general from closing down due to economics downturn and technological advancement that threaten the conventional way of acquiring reading materials.

She doesn't talk much about the former but concentrated more on the latter. Yes we can now buy books online she said, "but nothing can beat the feeling of possessing a book by holding it with your bare hands and making it yours." Oh what a helpless romantic, some might say, but as an avid reader myself, I can emphatize.

I was considering getting a digital reader myself about a year ago but decided against it because I was unwilling to give up the smell and the feel of each page against the skin of my fingers. And the act of actually paying the cashier in exchange for possession - oh nothing can compare to it! My parents taught me early; the trip to the bookstore is a monthly ritual for us and my parents would let the four of us roam around, choose books (yes, books!), hand us the money and insist that we line up for check out ourselves. An experience that doesn't only cultivate independency in us but also instill that conventional love for books that is second to none. Mom and Dad, I sure owe both of you a lot! *You can bet that this is one of the important parts of my upbringing that I do want to pass on to my own future children*

Dr Nafisi is a true teacher. She is so vibrant and engaging, so even with her pretty heavy Iranian accent I was transfixed at her very words. She mentioned her personal view that a woman should take the veil because of her faith and it shouldn't be the symbol of state thus forced on females. I share this opinion, but let me word it a little differently. As someone who has been accused of being as apostate and accused of not believing in the miracles of the Qur'an, I guess I need to clarify before being accused again of only God knows what. Okay, here goes: I accept that Muslim women must veil themselves, but I also believe that if a Muslim woman chooses not to, that matter is between her and God. She has made a choice, thus she must face the consequences (i.e the hellfire in the afterlife). We should not be judging her because we are imperfect ourselves. If there was one thing I really hate, that would be "holier than thou" attitude.

However, when I do share her opinions about some clerics misinterpreting the words of God, I do not agree when she said that "who are the clerics to tell us what to do when God Himself has been silent?" Well, I think maybe she hasn't been listening hard enough. Contradiction in opinions is not something to be frown upon, but celebrated. When she asked me while she was signing my book where I am from and I dutiful replied, she mentioned of her works with a female Muslim group in Malaysia.

"Sister In Islam?" I tried to clarify.
"Oh yes. Do you know about them?"
"Yes, but I am not a big fan."
"Why?"
"Well, they're a little liberal for a conservative Muslim like me."

The conversation then turned to my veil (it's just a scarf really, my first tudung bawal, a gift from my Cousin Nafisah). I have to say that for a woman of strong opinions like her, Dr Nafisi is very respectful of views different from hers. Tolerance is the key to communication, after all.


*Lolita is a beautiful novel by Vladimir Nabokov

Bagaimana Saya Menulis

Salam,

merujuk pertanyaan Sdr Syukri di laman LSS Adelaide:

"Saudari nampaknya cenderung membuat cerpen dengan menggunakan teknik anti-plot atau dialog. Boleh saudari kongsikan kepada sahabat sastera sekalian apakah rujukan yang saudari gunakan untuk menghasilkan karya berbentuk begini. (rujukan pengarangan). Dan apakah saranan saudari untuk sahabat-sahabat kita yang mahu juga menghasilkan karya seperti ini."

Jawapan saya:

Saya tidak mempunyai rujukan atau metodologi khusus, selain sentiasa memastikan masa diisi dengan membaca. Fikiran saya begini: bacalah sebanyak termampu kerana informasi yang dihadam mungkin akan berguna suatu masa nanti, jika tidak digunakan sebagai bahan penulisan sekali pun, ia akan mengayakan pengetahuan. Tiada kerugian di situ. Bukankah kata Abraham Lincoln: “A capacity and taste for reading gives access to whatever has already been discovered by others”?

Namun alhamdulillah, banyak juga material bacaan lalu yang dapat saya gunakan dalam penulisan kemudiannya. Selain itu, saya juga meski jarang berpeluang menekur peti televisyen, tetapi kadang kala ada gunanya juga membiarkan tv terpasang tatkala muzik dari komputer juga berkumandang semasa menyelesaikan tugasan akademik. Informasi tentang Taim dalam Perca-Perca Cinta Untuk Palestina (PPCUP) misalnya, saya perolehi melalui rancangan masakan "Throwdown with Bobby Flay" di saluran Food Network yang menjadi saluran default saya sewaktu cuti musim sejuk tempoh hari.

Informasi daripada background knowledge ini andai relevan dengan karya yang sedang diperam atau dikerjakan akan diikuti dengan rujukan lebih dalam. Mengambil PPCUP lagi sebagai contoh, pada awalnya saya ingin menjadikan kaffiyeh sebagai pusat penceritaan, namun saban hari meladeni laman agensi-agensi berita antarabangsa (dan capaian URL yang dikirimkan seorang teman) menimbulkan kejelekan terhadap Majlis Keselamatan PBB. Saya teringatkan tentang kedudukan US sebagai ahli tetap Majlis Keselamatan yang mempunyai kuasa veto (salah satu pengisian subjek Sejarah, saya lupa sewaktu tingkatan berapa), maka pembacaan tentang PBB bermula.

Pembacaan itu menemukan saya dengan United Nations Plaza dan Bangunan Sekretariat. Sementelah sedang mencari lokasi untuk karya, maka saya berkeputusan untuk menempatkan dua watak (Wafeya dan babanya Isham - nama Isham tidak saya pilih sewenang-wenang, maksudnya pelindung maka sebagai bapa, dia terlalu ingin melindungi anak gadisnya Wafeya) berhampiran kompleks pejabat PBB itu. Dua beranak itu berada di sebuah restoran dan menyantap hidangan Barat kerana saya ingin menyampaikan mesej asimilasi dan integrasi watak dengan persekitaran tanpa melupakan asal usul sendiri. Argh, tidakkah di mana bumi dipijak di situ langit dijunjung? Dan Wafeya masih bercita-cita untuk pulang ke Palestin kerana hujan emas di negeri orang, lebih baik hujan batu di negeri sendiri.

Tetapi menulis juga KERJA LANGIT. Acapkali saya sendiri tak tahu dari mana datangnya ilham (sebuah buku tafsir Al Quran yang sedang saya baca mendefinisikan ia sebagai "divine inspiration" dan saya fikir itulah terjemahan paling tepat) dan apakala menemukan hubung kait
antara material bacaan, saya yakin itu adalah kehendak Tuhan jua. Oleh itu, saya kira nawaitu kita menulis sangat penting kerana asal sahaja niat kita baik dan kita berusaha ke arah itu, Tuhan akan menunjukkan jalan. Sekadar berkongsi, nawaitu saya adalah untuk mendidik; khalayak dan diri sendiri. Oleh itu, saya berazam untuk tidak memperbodohkan pembaca dengan menulis sambalewa. Biar pun membaca dan menjalankan kajian untuk mengumpul bahan penulisan kadang kala memeritkan dan mengambil masa, tetapi saya fikir saya terhutang kepada khalayak pembaca sebuah karya yang matang dan mampu mencabar intelek mereka. Tulislah apa yang kamu mahu baca - ini moto peribadi saya.

Selain itu, Sdr Syukri juga ada menyebut tentang 'penyelesaian' yang ditawarkan dalam PPCUP. Jika anda membaca karya-karya saya yang terdahulu (sejak setahun setengah yang lalu) barangkali anda perasan bahawa ini memang formula yang saya gunakan sejak 'ditegur' oleh Abang FT melalui kata pengantar dalam Antologi Jalan Jauh ke Ramallah (GPH, 2007). Kata FT:

"Keduanya,'kesedaran sosial' dalam karya ini terasa ketara. Hampir setiap karya memuatkan resah dan gelisah ummah. Hampir setiap karya memuatkan kesedaran tentang penyakit dan kelesuan yang umat Islam tanggung. Sayang, kalimat tepatnya malang, 'kesedaran sosial' dalam karya-karya mereka ini tiak diterjemah dengan 'sikap sosial' yang pernah Malek Ben Nabi sebut sebagai tuntutan paling penting dari kesedaran tersebut."

Apa itu sikap sosial?

Kata FT lagi:

" 'Sikap sosial' ialah apabila intelektual mengesani masalah yang mengulit masyarakatnya tetapi bukan sekadar membincangkan, mereka juga harus menyediakan pelan bertindak untuk keluar darinya."

Penulis bukan sekadar pemerhati, tetapi juga pemikir. Tambah pula kita rata-rata adalah graduan luar negara yang pernah jadi creme de la creme negara, jadi ayuh, mari kita manfaatkan peluang dan kelebihan fikrah kurniaan Tuhan untuk beramal!


Wassalam,
RI, Colorado.