Numbers + Emotions = Beauty

Alhamdulillah, I was rewarded with the time and opportunities to read and finish "The Housekeeper and The Professor" by Yoko Ogawa, a book that caught my attention since I was still in the US. Saw it in Kansai Airport while waiting for my flight home as well, but I finally purchased it at a fraction of its retail price in - where else - Book Xcess.

It is a thin novel, as Ogawa's other works such as The Diving Pool and Hotel Iris. Even though Ogawa comes into fame through The Diving Pool, which is available at Book Xcess way before THaTP becomes available over the weekend (I think), I was not intrigued to get know her through the former novel. Hotel Iris was published sometimes recently, and from the gist I gathered through Kinokuniya's newsletter, the book is Ryu Murakami-like, who after wasting my time reading Piercing, is in my list of one of the most memorable authors. Hence, The Diving Pool, with its dark cover, must be along the same line.

Anyway. I was first attracted to THaTP because when I first flipped through it, I saw equations and mathematical notations.

How geeky.

Reading the book was an experience like no other. I was taken back to my college days through Euler's formula - it was introduced in my DiffEq class (or was it Calc 3? I'm pretty sure it was DiffEq...), which now that I think about it, was taught by a Math teacher so good looking that it was worth getting up early and attending his 8 o'clock class, three times a week. I have also forgotten all about the imaginary numbers, but Ogawa reminded me of it.

I sometimes thought how mathematicians are "syok-sendiri" with their imaginary numbers, negative numbers, 4-D planes, etc; Ogawa didn't argue with that notion, she agreed even, but went further and claimed that that is the beauty of mathematics - it makes sense, but it doesn't; all at the same time.

Just like life, and its complications. Which I think, are the main points Ogawa wanted to convey to readers.

I was amazed at how Ogawa linked everything together. Whatever happened throughout the book, they would all be traced back to numbers - be it The Professor's 80-minutes memory, The Housekeeper's hardship as a single, unmarried young mother, Root's maturity despite his young age and The Silently Suffering Widowed Sister-in-Law. If you wanted to be technical, then yes, numbers is the main theme, while the sub-plots are the side journeys to explore the characters and bring them all home to ... the numbers.

I finished the book during lunch hour, in the noisy food court in the shopping mall near my workplace, fighting back tears as the characters - or maybe only The Professor - returned "home."

Aesthetic in Lolita

This is the exact image of my Lo-lee-ta, borrowd from here

Finally I finished reading my copy of Lolita, purchased 3 years ago from Tattered Cover Bookstore upon finishing Azar Nafisi's celebrated memoir - Reading Lolita in Tehran.

In between the purchase and the actual act of reading it front to back, I'd met Dr Nafisi during a book signing session - in Tattered Cover, no less - and read her second memoir (Things I've Been Silent About). Not to mention that I'd attempted to read Lolita a couple of times, to no avail.

The reason for such tardiness is actually an echo, of so many before me. Why on earth did Nabokov write Lolita? Why would people want to read a psychotic account of a pedophilia, justifying his taboo-ed, incestuous relationship with his 12-year old stepdaughter? And why, oh why, does Lolita receive critical acclaims, and has been read widely for decades (my personal copy is a 50th Anniversary Edition)?

Lolita was beautifully written, no doubt about that. The words were carefully chosen and constructed while the punctuations were accurately placed. The proses flowed gracefully. I have this quirks of muttering aloud of what I read, and the sentences felt like they melted at the tip of my tongue.

Even though structurally the novel appeared effortlessly written, Nabokov shared that he spent days, even weeks and months on a scene. No wonder they are wonderful, to the extent that I had to remind myself sometimes, that English is not Nabokov's first language. Lolita was after all, claimed Nabokov himself, "was the record of my love affair with the English language."

The intentional twists and turns also kept me glued to it, once I was assured by Rahimidin Zahari's words that Lolita is not porn. Believe it or not, four initial publishers rejected Lolita because the p-part never took off. Bravo, Nabokov!

But is there anything else that I learned from Lolita?

Now that I think about it, while consciously I sort of scorn upon it, but unconsciously, who knows? Maybe whatever lesson I learned will surface out, maybe never!

Cerpen CITRA VENEZIA di MM, 12 Disember 2010

"Aku masih tak percaya Tuhan, Zah."
Zahra tersenyum.
Sedikit pun ujaran jujur tidak membekas di hatinya. Alistair barangkali melontar provokasi.

Tambahan pula, lelaki itu baru sahaja menghadiri pembentangan kertas kerjanya. Zahra bahkan lebih terkejut dengan kehadiran Alistair ke persidangan sains dan agama yang berlangsung di Universita Ca' Forsica. Alistair Henry tidakkah paling anti sebarang cubaan, perkaitan malahan bukti-bukti yang menghubungkan sains dengan agama?

"Tahan juga telinga engkau menadah pembentangan aku, ya?"

Citra Venezia

Oleh Rebecca Ilham
Mingguan Malaysia, 12 Disember 2010

Alhamdulillah.
Cerpen "Citra Venezia" disiarkan akhbar Mingguan Malaysia hari ini, 12 Disember 2010.

Saya sebetulnya berharapan agar sempat melihat sebuah cerpen terbit sebelum tirai 2010 dilabuhkan dan cerpen ini memenuhi harapan itu meski pun pada mulanya tindakan untuk menghantarnya ke MM adalah keputusan berisiko tinggi berikutan sukarnya menembusi akhbar arus perdana itu. Tambahan pula, cerpen "Dialog Subuh" sudah pun disiarkan MM lewat bulan Mei yang lalu.

Namun, ada faktor lain yang mendorong tindakan saya itu. Faktor 'cemburu.' Cemburu untuk menandingi tentunya, bukan cemburu untuk mengkhianati!

Sedikit tentang proses kreatif - cetusan untuk cerpen ini berlaku tiba-tiba. Saya sedang mengulangkaji untuk penilaian teknikal di tempat kerja dan sangat stres tentangnya. Maka, saya berhasrat untuk merakamkan 'seksa' yang pertama kali saya lalui ini, dan akan berulang lagi pada tahun-tahun akan datang. I might as well get something I love out of something I hate, right? ;)

Maka saya pun memilih teori keseimbangan material (material balance equation-MBE) yang merupakan salah satu metodologi manual menghitung jumlah minyak mentah dan gas asli yang mampu dikeluarkan oleh sesebuah takungan. Kebetulan menonton satu episod CSI beberapa minggu sebelumnya, terlintas juga untuk menggabungkan MBE dengan Hukum Newton Ketiga. Dengan itu, lahirlah watak Zahra, seorang jurutera petroleum dan Alistair, seorang ahli fizik.

Mereka bercakap tentang Tuhan, tentang bagaimana sains 'memberitahu' tentang kewujudan Tuhan, di suatu petang di pinggir terusan utama - Canalasso - di Venice diiringi alunan Le Quattro Stagioni, empat konserto gubahan Giacomo Vivaldi.

Argh, saya bercakap terlalu panjang!
Selamat membaca pada anda!